Bike Theft Pastoral

Misplaced a blue bike in Brockenhurst, Hampshire (UK)? A cow may have walked off with it. 

Engineer John Weiler spotted the perpetrator of the inadvertent theft on his way home and shot a few pictures before calling in the New Forest Agistors, a local pony breeding and cattle society (!). 

A policeman arrived on the scene (responding to a call from a resident), but unnecessarily: the cow extricated herself from the bicycle frame of her own volition and, thus unencumbered, meandered away with her herd.

Bike Hawk in a Nutshell

And here, via Indiegogo, is yet another way to harness technology to increase the chances of recovering your bike should it be stolen:

Such fundraising efforts have a mixed record: SHYSPY's Kickstarter campaign did not meet its funding goal, while LOCK8's did. And Connected Cycle's webpage still promises "crowdfunding coming."

Hit Eject

Behold the anti-theft ejector seat, a feature included on the 'Bond bike' concept bike that bicycle insurer Environmental Transport Association brought to Cycle Show 2010 in London:

Powered by compressed air, the saddle shoots two meters skyward if not first disarmed by its owner. 

Put the two-second segment on loop and allow yourself to imagine legions of would-be bike thieves limping off with sore bums or bruised foreheads. (I'm unclear on what exactly triggers the ejection and am thus unsure of which body parts would likely suffer damage.)

See this site for footage of the bike's other 007-style gadgetry.